Tears that cleanse the soul.

I.

A reckless cold heart

an unkind cold tongue

was once fatefully abandoned

to survive a tough term.

Then did she know

how soft was a mothers beat

how kind was a fathers yell

how joyful was a brothers bully.

Then did she feel

the bite of lonely nights

the weight of unceasing syllabi

the roughness of sharp souls.

Then came that time

when restlessness pacified

when morale was boosted high

and when the heart understood the worth.

For tears gushed forth one night,

those that cleansed her soul

from arrogance and pride.

II.

A shallow shoal heart

a false pretentious soul

was once trusted with a word,

that it leaked to dishonor.

Then did she know

the chastity of conduct

the honor of keeping words

the preciousness of trusts.

Then did she feel

the thunder of a betrayed soul

the pain of a broken heart

the essence of integrity.  

Then came that time

when broken hearts mended

when ragged bonds sewed

and when demolished trusts reestablished.

For tears gushed forth one night,

those that cleansed her soul

from self-regard and perfidy.

III.

An oblivious lost heart

a hopeless astray soul

was once guided with light

revolutionizing that life.

Then did she know

the purpose of her existence

the value of her actions

the importance of her choices.

Then did she feel

the lowness of this life

the highness of the hereafter

the greatness of her creator.

Then came that time

when actions changed their course

when true knowledge was given its right

and when the soul strived to its might.

For tears gushed forth one night,

those that cleansed her soul

from kufr and vile.

IV.

An honestly striving soul

a certain but weak heart

is tested time and again

for steadfastness and might.

Now does she know,

that qadr is a part of emaan,

that hearts are in His hand,

that being steady is the key.

Now does she feel,

the bitterness of sins and tests,

the sweetness of sabr and shukr,

the tranquility through repentance.

Now has come the time,

when the journey goes on,

deeds are behold,

salah stimulates the soul,

saum diminishes its desires

and the Quran rectifies the heart.

For every now and then

tears must gush forth

those that cleanse the soul, her soul!

Her End was her Reward!

She! No she isn't dead! She is still alive, feeding her soul on the heavenly fruits! Just that its beyond our perception. Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) mentions in the Holy Qur'aan in Surah Baqarah verse:154

And do not say about those who are killed in the way of Allah , "They are dead." Rather, they are alive, but you perceive [it] not.

She achieved what she lived for! She attained the status that she strived for! She left a legacy behind! She is a Legendary!

This piece is about this lady whom I barely knew before I really knew her but now even a tiny single thought about her makes me dive deeper into my ocean of thoughts, deeper into my worries about my Aakhirah!

Encourages me, inspires me!

It was one of the Wednesday evenings of the late week of March, 2014 when one of my closest friends texted about a revert lady on a common whats app group that she is in need of help and is under serious supervision due to her delivery complications. She asked if anybody would be willing to help her as her husband also wasn't allowed in that section. I read through the entire post, thought of her pain, made a small prayer and somehow it got off and I was back in my routine. the next day that is Thursday my friend again updated about her health and asked to keep her in our prayers. Then the following Friday I was quite occupied with my stuff since morning and hence checked my cell after the maghrib salah. I opened my whats app to check my messages. I opened the common group to check the posts and one of it was by the same friend which said that 'the revert lady she talked about, passed away the same afternoon while giving birth to her premature baby!' (Verily to Allah we belong and to Him is our return!)

I was numb. A shudder of coldness ran across my body. And then suddenly I was hit! She died a Martyr! Subhan Allah! Tears started flowing down my cheeks, unstoppable as if I lost someone very close.I was left with an unpredictable astonishment until I started to figure out. Until I started to realize the status Allah swt granted her. The status of Martyrdom!

I was bombarded with questions. How had she been? What had she done to attain this level? What acts of her made her so beloved to Allah swt? ?????.... and they continued... It drived me curious. to know her, to adopt her acts, her lifestyle. Along with the news of her demise, we were also informed about her funeral which was to be held the next morning. ( one of the events that will never erase from my memory)  Her funeral again left me in wonder, when i witnessed how people poured in, unstoppable. None of them were her blood relations but the bond was a greater one, the bond of love for His sake! The room was echoing with her praises and with silent tears of the ones who knew her. After the ghusl the body was bought and I struggled myself through the crowd to see her blessed face. All that i caught of the short glimpse was the peace that rested, the calmness with which she lied there waiting to be honored again in the garden of her grave. I again lost myself in thinking of How after some time her soul in the crops of green birds hanging down the throne will roam freely in paradise! How she will be honored by the angels?

The janazah salah was led and 3 saff! forget 3 saff, they were uncountable! Ya Rubb! what would have been her virtues!

It was the same day when I was introduced with the struggles she faced since she reverted. She was a born in a Hindu family. Her search for truth and peace led her to Christianity. But during the same period she was introduced with holy Qur'aan, which impressed her so much that she decided to embrace Islam. She had hardly been 13 or 14 when she reverted. Thrown out of her house, she struggled to survive in the way of her lord. Wandering she sometimes landed up in an NGO or in another place. Times were so tough that she even lived on mere 10 Indian rupees per day.(being an Indian I am aware of the worth of 10 rupees, that too in Bangalore)  And there were many trials that she underwent until she she came across an Islamic dawah center which helped find a spouse. She was one of those people who don't lose hope in Allah knowing that good days will come. After things fell into place for her, she boosted her productivity levels. From running workshops, to being a light for other reverts, running blogs, arranging activities, publishing a magazine. U say it and she did it. Subhan Allah. From being a pious wife to an amazing mother!  She played all the roles until her commerce prospered and she eventually won. Won what she struggled for! The love of her Rubb!

One of the very beautiful things about her is this,

She led her life as per the following Qur'anic verse :

Say, "Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah , Lord of the world.

If only we all live by this!     SUCH WAS SHE!

May Allah swt guide us all and grant us all a beautiful end! An end of a martyr! May Allah purify us! #Aameen

P.S. Its time I break the secret. The legendary lady's name is Sumaiyya Naidu (she live by her name) Please make du'a for her maghfirah! She opened up an organisation called Al Balagh in Bangalore which focuses on motivating the youth towards the path of Allah swt and does a lot of amazing work.

Sanctified!

Yes we are blessed! We are sanctified! each of you reading this!

{say Alhumdulillah}  You might be wondering why am I saying this?
Well its this very moment that every tiniest thing that I own makes me grateful towards my Rubb. Every bit of me makes me wonder in awe of His mercy and I had been so heedless all thus while! If we were to sit and count His blessings, we certainly will not be able to enumerate them. But as the Qur'aan mentions:

And He is the one who gave you life; then He causes you to die and then will [again] give you life. Indeed, mankind is ungrateful.

Man to his Rubb is ever ungrateful!
This! this is our nature, such thankless and such oblivious creatures are we! and it makes me cry and cry and cry.. because Tears of regret are the only means I own to show my gratefulness to Him! For my Rubb's mercy has no bounds! Whats more astonishing is this hadith in which Allah swt describes his mercy.

Abu Huraira reported: I heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Allah created mercy in one hundred parts and He retained with Him ninety-nine parts, and He has sent down upon the earth one part, and it is because of this one part that there is mutual love among the creation so much so that the animal lifts up its hoof from its young, one, fearing that it might harm it.
#6629 The Book Pertaining to Repentance and Exhortation to Repentance (Kitab Al-Tauba)' of Sahih Muslim.

It so happened that this afternoon I was reclining on my bed and enjoying a book until there was a call for my mum on the main gate. My mum wasn't around so the maid called me to check out who it was. I was deeply engrossed into my book that I hardly bothered to check. With least concern I got up to check and caught a glimpse of this little boy with a green cap on his head.He might have been a nine or ten year old. I couldn't see him properly because of the bars of the gate and before i could move forward to enquire my mother arrived. Since my mum I was again reminded of my book and i ran back to continue my activity. After some time when mum came inside she started telling me about that boy on the gate. She told that he was poor and had come to ask if there was any work he could do to make some money for the day. He said that he would do anything. That this is how everyday he visit peoples houses in search of work and in turn helps his poor mother, who also works as a maid with a penny or two. The chores are either sweeping the veranda or dusting or any sort of cleaning. Mum out of pity didn't ask to work but left him with some money.
It was the moment after this, that I was left with feelings of regret. The only thing that danced in front of my eyes was the mere glimpse of him that I caught. What struck me the hardest was the honesty and self-dependence that he had in him. had he wished he simply would have begged without toil like the others do.But no! It was this quality oh his that left an impression on me. An everlasting regret in me. How I wish I could have.... but I have the lost that breath of life!I know each of you reading this have had an experience like this except that you would have gone an extra mile to help thereby earning the precious tranquility that descends on your soul, in your heart after a small of help. Though I wasn't amongst the helpful ones but this moment only helped me in uplifting my spirituality. It was a light that me out of my dark little cozy world.
All of you out there seek out for opportunities to help others and see the magic that envelops you. The peace it brings along!

 

Those who spend their wealth [in Allah 's way] by night and by day, secretly and publicly - they will have their reward with their Lord. And no fear will there be concerning them, nor will they grieve.

P.S: Its the first time I am blogging. Please leave me with your feedback. JazakAllahu khairan katheera!